Me and Squidge Down by the Garage Fire

Sunday, August 21, 2011

 I spent last week in Fredericksburg, Virginia visiting 
my family and the Wood family. We made some amazing new memories.
I drew one up on my flight home (with a little inspiration from reddit
yesterday literally using my tickets
and barf bags.
And I present to you...
Me and Squidge Down by the Garage Fire.
So Kelly came to visit us too, for a few days.
On her first night in town, Rachel and I took her out to the bars.
We looked like divas, as usual.
Guys were creeping hard.
At one point, I had to teach one dude a thing or two
about southern hospitality.
Um, no.
We got tired of boys, so we started entertaining ourselves
by bumping beer bottles.

The tiniest droplet of beer got on Rachel's skirt...

And that's when the shit hit the fan.
 We started bickering, and when Derek and his cousin Joseph came to pick us up, 
Kelly and I took our rage to the backseat while Rachel
forgot all about it and went to another bar.

 Joseph and Derek brought us to a house party, 
and Kelly and I were making a scene on the front porch.
The owner of the house tried to get us to shut up.
That was a mistake.

 I couldn't get Kelly to come in a have fun, and she ran away to stomp around
the backyard. So I went inside to cry for Derek to go calm her down.
 My man.
 He failed.
Just then, Rachel came to the party. She made me feel a lot better.
 She handed me this ugly 5lb white dog with a snaggle tooth.
 Then she took Kelly home.
 Inside, me and Squidge were just hangin, 
taking care of the owner of the house who was puking his
soul out onto the floor.
 Don't worry, I wore an apron.
 I made a few big deal.
Me n' The Squidge started exploring the know, 
sipping other people's drinks when they weren't looking, 
taking pictures of ourselves on other people's cameras, 
opening random doors...
 The hallway outside the garage door was a little hazy, 
and when I opened it, white smoke billowed into the house.
Some idiot standing behind me had some constructive input
about the situation.

 I went to fetch the boys.
 And they handled it beautifully.
 And that's how me and Squidge saved everyone's lives that night.
But really though, 
that's how Derek and I got engaged.
 I wish.
Seriously though...
True story.
And for the record...while Super Derek and Fireman Chris
put the fire out in my drunken Squidge memory, 
It was our hero, Randy G who truly stepped up
and took action.
 Here's to you, Randy. It was great hanging with you.
Can't wait to see you again, sir.
Love, Court

No comments: