Stories of Fasha: The. Worst. Hike. Ever.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

We set out hiking on a nice day, with our tent and sleeping bags...
Dad brought his halitosis.

He blabbed on and on as usual about the Civil War and that time he "fell out of a tree when he was 8 and broke both wrists".

So I eventually popped my iPod headphones in and zoned out/zoned into my hike. 
While I bopped along the trail, I nearly stepped on a huge rattlesnake sunning himself on the path!
I snapped a few pictures of him from an idiotically close range.
And my dad came running up to me and the snake, as if I were in grave danger.
And pulled a 9mm on his ass.
Then I dramatically protested.
I saved that snake's life. You're welcome, stupid snake.
We finally reached the top of the mountain and found potential campground, when God screamed "FFUUUUU" at us, and it started raining sideways.
My brother and I scrambled around for shelter unsuccessfully while all of our camping equipment got soaked.
We look over at Dad and he had bagged himself in a Hefty garbage bag and was yelling at us inaudibly through the storm...most likely about how my brother and I suck at nature and he is Bear Grylls.
My brother and I demanded we walk back to the car. 
We weren't about to wait out a freezing sideways devil storm and then try to sleep in the blasted puddles left behind.
6 pissed off miles later...
Dad was covered in ticks by the time we got back to the truck.

No comments: