Messin' With Fatman...Don't Do It.

Over the years, Dad has always been there to help me and my brother out.

He'd always stay posted at the Weber during our pool parties, making sure everyone was well fed.

He'd always have breakfast ready for us and our friends in the morning after we'd have a sleepover.

I remember many times when Dad had our backs.

Like the times when our teachers would call home 

complaining about how we were acting up in class.

Fatman would go straight to the school and straighten everything out...

 Once, I was arguing with this psychotic kid in the neighborhood about 

choosing Mortal Kombat II players.

It didn't end well.

 Dad took care of him.

 Just kidding...but he did teach me how to kick boys in the nuts

when they were bothering me.

I got a little carried away with that one for a while.

 One summer, my brother's bike was stolen. 

Some high school kid thought he was hard and threw Nick's Mongoose 

in the lake.

 Fatman didn't buy Nick a new one. 

He found out who did it within 24 hours and made sure 

Nick got a brand new bike.

 Let's not forget my potential suitors over the years...

Those poor guys...

It started with a handshake that turned their bones to powder.

 Then, my Dad would take them outside to have a silent "chat".

Basically he just stared them down and let his jeans ride up to 

reveal the 9mm strapped onto his ankle.

Love ya, Fasha!