My mom always made me a super yummy dinner on my birthday.
When I turned 18, she brought home these gigantic lobsters.
I was psyched, but I noticed that these weren't normal lobsters.
This is what normal lobsters look like:
And these were my 18th birthday lobsters:
So as they were cooking, I just played with my new kitty, Stimpy and acted like a diva.
"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"
Finally they were done, and their shells were so hard that the lobster tools couldn't crack them.
My dad was super fed up and violently hungry, so instead of monkeying around with the lobster crunchers, he just went Rocky on the crustaceans, instead.
Turns out, the bigger the lobster...the older and grosser it is. Instead of lobster meat, it's filled with white gunk. My dad smashed the biggest claw in his palms and it exploded.
It hit his face, the ceiling, the cake, the Stimpy cat...went everywhere.
Amazing.
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